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just heard the words “because time’s arrow just doesn’t run that way, mate” come out of my mouth while attempting to reason with a four-year-old

how is it that babies know the difference between being soothed while standing up on your creaky back and feet (works) vs when you’re sitting in a comfy chair (does not work)?

know what I’d like? a bath. a reaaaaalll long bath. with a book. and possibly some jazz. jazzbath.

Today began with a lively discussion with M about whether space rockets are vegan

are we seriously supposed to believe that these advanced, complex pieces of equipment are installed and run in these facilities without the knowledge of upper management? How did they get there? Who authorised their purchase and installation? Who pays the (presumably significant) energy bills? In the rest of this essay I will

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however, the senior management figures who appear at the end of these episodes and are impressed / surprised / pleased by the results of these efforts are seemingly unaware of the presence of these technologies in the building. Indeed, as viewers, we are encouraged to 'keep the secret/ by Andy himself.

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in these shows, Andy and a sidekick (usually Jess or Kit) get into scrapes, or fix mistakes of whichever institution they currently serve, by deploying exotic technologies (time machine, flying jeep etc) hidden onsite.

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conceptually, there's a glaring hole at the center of the Andy franchise (Andy's Secret Hideout, Andy's Dinosaur Adventures etc).

5.40am is not a reasonable time to wake anyone up

Today’s revelation: put a table in M’s room last night with paper, crayons and lego on it for when he woke up. Kept him busy until a civilised (post-7am) wake-up time!

“I know, let’s make paint for kids a thing” - an idiot

on the other hand, we had an ace time building this light-up model together this morning, so today is definitely winning on aggregate

M sees promo for "Mindful Garden" app on Cbeebies. M wants to try it out. Cue about an hour of finding a device it'll load on, followed by many stallings and crashings and whatnot. M becomes enraged. Point defeated.

so, uhhhh, apropos of nothing at all... what are the best names people have ever heard for boylike children?

lockdown status: googling CVs of random cbeebies personalities and plotting connections between shows in my head

and ✊✊✊ everybody, hope we’re all doing okay

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